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Absolutely perfect.”Fred stepped between us to hug Julian and echo my praise. Sarah did the same, her smile huge. Julian wore trousers, pants of some sort, plus a top that wasn’t overdone, just a little edging, but trimmed enough to be feminine. His bra was barely visible through the top. A hint of lace, nothing fancy. Fred had bought him breast pads, “enhancers” some call them, in the smallest size, so Julian sported just a bit of curve.Harper had re-done his hair. It remained short but looked feminine. I can’t describe it exactly, but there was something to the wave that said “chic.” A bit of makeup, nothing exaggerated, and simple earrings completed his outfit. I’d make out with him in a flash, I realized. We have no blood relation, even if he calls me “Dad.” He’s an adult now.“Thanks, Dad.” Julian gave a little twirl to show off. “I feel good.” He put his hands up to his face but didn’t touch. “Harper did my makeup, do you like it?”I hugged him again. “Looks great, Julian.”“I’m. It wasexhausting trying to live a life which was contrary to one's true nature.To be accepted for who you appear to be is of paramount importance butwhat if you are living a lie in doing so?My heart broke into what felt like a million pieces as I realised thefutility of my future. 'God if this is the gift of life you have bestowedupon me then take it back, I do not want it!' The pain of the life lyingbefore me was ripping at my fragmented heart. Nothingness, the invitingthought of nonexistence seemed sweeter than the pain that permeated myvery being.Rita's heart was also on the verge of breaking. Of all the missions thatGod had designated to her she found this the most painful to resolve."Sweet child God has a reason for everything he does and you will findyour reward if you have a little patience."'What can I do? God frowns upon liars and yet he makes me live a lie! Idid not ask to be born this way so why can't I be happy in my own skin?Why did God make my life more difficult than.
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